


I've Become So Numb

by Irwincloud09



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Incest, Light Smut, M/M, Wincest - Freeform, self hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 06:22:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10380405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irwincloud09/pseuds/Irwincloud09
Summary: Sam starts to think Dean hates him.Dean assures him that's not the case,





	

 

**SAMS POV**  
I sit down on the bed with a beer in my hand, I sigh deeply as the alcohol goes down my throat. This hunt, is so emotionally draining. It brings up feelings that shouldn’t still affect me. 

Dean got mad at me, it seems he always has been lately. I don’t know what to do about it anymore. I’ve tried so many things but he’s still mad at me. I can’t deal with his being mad at me. I haven’t told him about the voices, he won’t care. I know he won’t. 

 

**TIME SKIP**

“It’s all your fault Sam, you know that right.” voices call in my head. “You’re not real, go away. Leave.” I try to whisper to myself while rocking back and forth on my head with my head in my knees and arms wrapped around myself. “It’s all your fault Sammy, no wonder Dean’s mad at you. You ruined the hunt, honestly you ruined his life, Maybe he’s realizing that now. That’s probably why he’s mad at you. He’s realised how much of his life was spent about you. He was always told to protect you Sam. He never protected himself, you you you, it was all only about you. You’re selfish.” Tears carelessly fall o=down onto my cheeks, their right. I ruined Dean’s life. He would be okay and healthy without me. NO wonder he hates me. 

I shake my head and move the position i'm in. I'm now sat cross legged and looking up at the ceiling while my hearts stinging and body feels weak. Tears slip out of my eyes and down my face, snot runs down to my lip and i quickly snuffle. I run my hands through my hair and begin to stand up. 

I pace around my bedroom, hearing my heart pound in my chest and tears running down my face furiously, i walk to the wall before leaning against it. 

**Dean’s POV**

I stomp around the house, we had failed a hunt. It was Sam’s fault. He was moping around rather than getting the job done. 

I walked down the long hallway before a hearing a thump in Sam’s room. I frown and walk towards his door before hearing a loud sob from behind his door. I tilt my head slightly and feel worried for my baby brother. “Shut up” i hear him say vulnerably. A sharp pain inflicts to my heart as i hear another cry coming from his room, he was sobbing. My body takes control as i open the door slowly to see a sight I never have to see again. Sam, against the wall while crying profusely and shaking, “s-s-am” i croak out, I see his head lift and reveal his tear stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes. He frowns once he sees me and tells me to leave. My heart dropped, is this my fault. “Sa-sam, whats wrong?” I ask, my voice cracking. I walk over to Sam before i see his face scrunch up and burst into tears again, this time his knees buckled and i quickly ran to him and put an arm under his shoulder so he wouldn't hurt himself. I sat him down and held his hand while he was wailing, “Do you hate me?” Sam asks, sounding genuinely concerned for the answer. I felt my heart break, “no! of course not Sammy.”

“You just seem like you’re always mad at me. And I just feel, like you just don’t want anything to do with me anymore. I'm just a hassle, I ruined your life didn't I Dean? You'd be happy and healthy if I was never born. Hell, dad and mom would still be alive. I ruined your life Dean!” His broken voice cracks while tears roll down his cheeks.

My heart shattered into a thousand pieces with the words that came out of his mouth, he thought he ruined my life. It wasn’t his fault what happened, happened. How can he not see that? He couldn’t help that mum had him. He can’t change anything. I understand that and I don't hold anything against him. ‘

I place one hand on his thigh and the other one on his cheek. “Sammy, I love you.” I state and see his green grey eyes strike into my green ones.  _ Here goes nothing. Please don’t hate me.  _ I think to myself and lean in, his eyes widen just before he also leans in. Our lips touch and my stomach somersaults. 

Sam reacts the best way. He pushes his lips against mine. His hands reached for my shoulders and wrapped his soft hands around my neck. He pulls me desperately towards him so now i'm sitting cross legged between his open legs. 

**Sam's POV**

As soon as Dean put his lips on mine all negative thoughts disappeared. I know that sounds cliche but it’s true. And I know that this is wrong. It's incest, but what can I say? I guess I’m in love with my smart ass of a brother. 


End file.
